Driving with a baby – hints and tips

Car journeys with your little one can be a nerve-wracking experience, particularly if you’re by yourself. But they’re an inevitable element of life for most parents, whether driving is something you only do in a rental car on holiday or part of your daily routine. So attach that ‘Baby on Board’ sticker – I thought they were just cutesy but actually they’re to alert first responders to the presence of a baby in the case of an accident – buckle up and away you go.

Driving with a baby

A woman changes a baby's nappy on the back seat of a van on a pause in driving
Make sure you’ve got essentials like nappies and wipes to hand while driving with a baby

Time your departure for as soon as possible after a feed, but be prepared to stop frequently if your baby needs to. Infants under the age of six months shouldn’t be in a car seat for more than two hours anyway as the angle of the seat can restrict their airway. So if you’re driving a long way, factor in regular stops to give your baby some time out of the seat.

You can alleviate the worry of not being able to see your baby while you’re driving by attaching a mirror to the headrest of the seat. Easy to set up kits are widely available.

A rear window shade will come in handy keeping the sun off your little one’s face. Models that go around the top of the car door, rather than just sticking to the window, are impossible for your little one to remove, and have the added benefit of letting you have the windows open.

A couple of toys or squishy books that you can attach to your little one’s car seat might keep her entertained for a little while. Anything that isn’t attached will end up on the floor almost immediately.

Keep essentials like wipes, your nappy changing wallet and a blanket close to hand so that you can get hold of them quickly if need be during a stop.

Driving with a toddler

A mother and toddler look out of the window on a Eurotunnel train
Enjoying the view from the Eurotunnel while driving to France

Car journeys with the baby girl massively improved once she was big enough for a forward-facing car seat (see below) and could see both the person driving and the world rushing by outside. She still gets bored after a while but is much happier than in the rear-facing seat.

Our other chief defences against boredom and the grumpiness that inevitably comes in its wake are snacks and screens (playing ‘what can you see out of the window?’ and singing nursery rhymes will only take you so far). We try and go for soft snacks on car journeys to minimise the risk of choking – oat bars, bananas, baby food pouches, that sort of thing – though we tend to be a bit more relaxed about what we give the girl if someone is sitting next to her in the back.

The screens we resisted for a long time, but a recent 9-hour drive down to nearly the south of France broke us. We try to play learning games like Smart Baby Shapes and Tozzle and interactive music apps like Nursery Rhymes but sometimes we give in and let the girl watch a couple of episodes of Hey Duggee or Sarah and Duck.

Choosing a car seat

Safety is obviously of paramount concern, with cost probably the next biggest factor for most parents when it comes to buying a child car seat. But don’t underestimate the importance of finding one in which your toddler will sleep comfortably. Because a sleeping toddler is the best kind of toddler when it comes to long car journeys.

After research using the consumer website Which? (you can join for £1 and then cancel your membership) and lots of parent review sites we went for the Cybex Pallas, which has a ‘shield’ rather than a five-point harness, which the baby girl rests her head and arms on when she’s napping in the van. The shield is more of a faff to fit than a harness, but the baby girl seems to like it.

According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, the safest option is to use a rear-facing child car seat for as long as possible. ‘Group 0 and 1+’ seats can be used until your child is 18kg (around four years old). They’re bulkier than their forward-facing equivalents and still relatively rare in the UK but offer better impact protection in the event of an accident.

Tips for driving with your little one abroad

If you’ll be driving on holiday – or even just taking taxis – check the local regulations around child car seats well in advance of your trip. Which? has a very helpful list of the rules in lots of popular holiday destinations. You might find that your car seat doesn’t meet local laws, so be prepared to hire one that does.

Most car hire companies should be able to supply a car seat, given enough notice, though quality can be variable and staff unhelpful when it comes to fitting an unfamiliar seat. You might feel more confident booking with a specialist baby equipment hire company.

Baby’s first holiday

Published in the July/August 2018 issue of Baby London.

Travelling with a baby is a daunting prospect for many parents. Even mums and dads who were experienced globe-trotters before starting a family can feel overwhelmed when thinking about the logistics of that first holiday with their little one. Break the organising down into bite-sized chunks, however, and it all becomes a bit more manageable, leaving you time to get excited about the adventures that await you as a new family.

Getting a passport

A baby in its mother’s arms holds a new British passport
Just after this was taken the baby girl turned to the photo page and had a proper laugh at herself as a two week old

Fill out a paper application for your child’s first passport to take advantage of the Post Office’s ‘check and send’ service, which costs around £10 on top of the usual fee. The rules around passport photographs aren’t as strict for babies as they are adults, but it can still be tricky getting them right – a visit to a high street photo specialist or chemist will save you a lot of stress. If you’ve filled everything in correctly and sent in the right documents, the passport will be ready in about three weeks. There is a also fast track service to turn around a new passport within a week – it costs extra and you’ll need to attend an appointment.

Questions to ask a hotel

Most hotels should be able to supply a cot and high chair but do check when booking so you can bring your own if need be. Ask about in-room amenities: a kettle and fridge are absolute essentials; a bathtub is pretty handy too, but not a deal breaker. We always travel with a tiny inflatable paddling pool that fits in the bottom of even the most compact shower stalls. A balcony is a massive boon, giving you somewhere to sit and relax after baby’s bedtime. It’s worth asking about babysitting too. Most family-friendly places should be able to arrange it.

Enquire about a room at the end of a hallway but away from the lifts or stairs. Not only will your baby be less likely to be disturbed by the noise of other guests and, being further from occupied rooms, you’ll feel less guilty if your little one cries in the night.

Depending on your destination, it’s worth asking about the cost of a suite compared to a standard double – in a lot of the big US hotel chains there often isn’t much difference, and you’ll be grateful of the extra space to stow not just your sleeping child, but all their gear too. If that’s not an option, a large wardrobe can work nicely as a miniature bedroom for storing baby’s things out of the way and keeping the main room more organised.

Travel vaccinations

The standard vaccinations your baby will receive on the NHS will protect her from most of the diseases you might come across when travelling, particularly in developed nations. Further flung destinations often require additional vaccines, some of which can only be given above a certain age, so talk to your GP or practice nurse before booking your trip to make sure you’re covered.

Flying with baby

A man sleeps with a sleeping baby on his lap while a flight attendant passes
The baby girl and my partner passed out on our flight back from the Canaries

Take more food and milk than you think you might need so you’re covered in case of delays. Be prepared for baby’s feeding and sleep routines to go out the window when flying – there are just too many distractions to contend with and it’s impossible to time things properly when you’re dealing with security, boarding and other demands. I try to go with the flow and offer my daughter healthy snacks frequently to make sure she’s getting enough to eat. (Snacks can also serve as very useful distractions if your baby is getting bored or frustrated.) Breastfeeding mothers might find themselves feeding more frequently and for longer than usual on flights because the baby will seek comfort in the strange environment.

Pack as many small, non-noisy toys as you can reasonably fit into your carry-on. Soft toys and lift-the-flap books are a good bet and I find a “stunt wallet” filled with a few expired loyalty cards that I don’t mind losing can keep my daughter absorbed for ages. Walking up and down the plane offers endless new sights, sounds and interactions – you’ll probably spend a lot of the flight on your feet! A sling comes in very handy for getting your little one to nap while you’re on the move.

We always travel with Calpol, infant Nurofen and teething gel just in case. To avoid earache, encourage your little one to breastfeed, eat or drink during take off and landing. It offers a distraction from all the commotion.

Where to go

Swimming pool with loungers, umbrellas and palm trees
Carlisle Bay, Antigua

Pine Cliffs Resort, Algarve, Portugal. This clifftop resort boasts the largest kids club in the region and accepts babies from six months, leaving you free to enjoy the spa, golf course and 11 restaurants. Baby will love the bouncy castle and sandy beach too. Rooms from £145 per night. pinecliffs.com

Carlisle Bay, Antigua. This slice of paradise has its own private stretch of beach, where swaying palm trees offer plenty of natural shade. The pool is great fun, the kids club is open to babies six months old, and the staff are incredibly welcoming. Rooms from £773 per night. carlisle-bay.com

Sani Beach Hotel, Halkidiki, Greece. The crèche at this elegant all-suite hotel is open to babies from four months old, but you can also take advantage of ‘Babe Watch’ and take a dip in the sea while qualified staff look after your little one on the beach. From £160 per night. sani-resort.com

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Flying with your baby

A baby grabs her father's face on a planeThe sooner you start flying with your baby, the easier it is. You probably spend most of your time with your newborn in your arms anyway, so the fact that you’re on a plane is almost irrelevant. The chief challenge of flying with babies is keeping them entertained and newborns don’t require much in that regard, so if you have the opportunity to go abroad with your baby when she’s still very little, go for it. The other benefit to starting when she’s small is that it’s good practice for flying with her when she’s bigger and more aware of her surroundings: she’ll already be familiar with the strange environment of an aeroplane, you’ll be more confident and you’ll both have a better experience as a result.

This post only covers flying itself, but I’ve written about airports and airport transfers too, plus documents for travelling with children, buying travel insurance and applying for a passport for your child. I’ll be covering booking flights soon – sign up to the Baby Adventuring mailing list so you don’t miss it.

Feeding

2016-10-23 12.14.21
Post-feed on the baby girl’s first flight, to Santiago de Compostela, when she was six-week-old.

Take more food and milk than you think you might need – that way you’ll covered in case of delays, and will have plenty of snacks to hand that can serve as distractions at otherwise tedious or challenging moments. (We spend a lot of time walking up and down the plane with the baby girl, either carrying her or keeping a close eye as she toddles along, but when the fasten seatbelt sign is on and she’s not happy about staying put, a handful of baby rice cakes can be very handy indeed.)

Breastfeeding mothers might find themselves feeding more frequently and for longer than usual on flights, which can be exhausting, particularly at night, when you’ll be getting even less sleep than usual. Make sure you’ve got plenty of snacks for yourself, and that you’re drinking enough water. Some extra nursing pads might come in handy too. If you’re bottlefeeding, ready-mixed formula is much more convenient than making it up as you go. Bring enough sterilised bottles to last the duration of your flight, plus a couple of extras in case of delays. Extra muslin squares are a good idea whether you’re breast or bottle-feeding.

I’ve found that our feeding routine goes out the window when we’re flying, along with sleep routines (see below) – there are just too many distractions to contend with and it’s impossible to time things properly when you’re dealing with security, boarding, etc. So we try to go with the flow and offer the baby girl healthy snacks fairly often to make sure she’s getting enough to eat. For toddlers and babies over the age of six months, chopped cucumber and carrots, dried and fresh fruit, crackers, sandwiches and travel pouches of baby food are all easy options. You can put them in resealable sandwich bags, but we like to take mini Tupperware containers from home away with us, as they come in handy for snacks and meals on the go throughout the trip too.

Toys

A mother and child look at a magazine on a plane
Flicking through the inflight magazine for the 768th time on our flight back from Gozo

The longer the flight, the more entertainment you’ll require, so pack as many small, non-noisy toys as you can reasonably fit into your carry-on. It may seem like overkill when you’re packing, but you won’t regret having a plentiful supply. A favourite soft toy or two is a good idea, as are lift-the-flap books, colouring-in book and crayons, stickers and toy cars. A ‘stunt wallet’ filled with a few membership and loyalty cards that I don’t mind losing can keep the baby girl absorbed for ages. We always have fun with the inflight magazines too.

A friend always wraps several small presents ahead of flights with her kids, which she saves for moments when they’re getting antsy. The novelty of the present keeps them busy and the upwrapping is exciting in itself. I haven’t actually tried it yet, as the baby girl isn’t all that interested in unwrapping yet, but I’m planning to give it a go the next time we fly.

Crying

You could bring all the snacks and toys in the world and your baby will still probably kick off at some stage during the flight. It’s no fun dealing with a crying baby on a plane, but try to remember that your fellow passengers are more likely to be feeling sympathetic than annoyed – chances are that most of them have been in the same position at some stage. Only a real jerk could get angry with a parent clearly doing their best to calm their baby, and life’s too short to waste time worrying about what the jerks of this world think of you. Also bear in mind that the noise of the engines muffles the crying for those sitting even just a couple of rows away from you, so it’s probably not as bad as you think.

We’re lucky in that the baby girl has never been a big crier – if she cries, it’s usually for a reason, and it’s just a matter of working out what that reason is and coming up with a solution. (It’s a different story now that she’s started throwing tantrums, but more on that later.) Teething is always very challenging, and affects her feeding too, so we always travel with Calpol, infant Nurofen and teething gel. Earache while flying hasn’t been a problem for the baby girl but troubles lots of babies and toddlers: swallowing equalises pressure in the ears so try to get your little one to breastfeed, eat or drink during takeoff and landing. Walking around can be a good distraction – make sure you’ve got a sling with you to take the pressure of your arms and back.

If nothing does the trick to stop the crying, take her into the toilet for a few minutes. The quiet and privacy might calm her down, and even if it doesn’t, being away from other passengers, even briefly, might calm you down so you’re better able to go back out there and deal with it. This can work for toddler tantrums too, if you’re able to physically manoeuvre your child. If not, employ distractions in turn until something works (see toys and snacks above).

Where to sit

A man sits next to a makeshift tent on a plane
An attempt to get the baby girl to nap on the plane in a makeshift tent we erected on our empty middle seat

Children under the age of two can travel for (almost) free on most airlines if sitting on your lap, though you can buy a separate seat for them if you want. If you’re doing so, you might want to bring a car seat to secure them – check with your airline which models are suitable. Children over the age of two require their own seat.

For long-haul flights, it’s well worth trying to book the bulkhead seats and a carrycot or child seat, depending on the age of your child. This is sometimes more straightforward to do over the phone rather than online. It’s a good idea to reconfirm the carrycot booking before you travel and at check-in.

If these seats aren’t available and there are two of us travelling with the baby girl, we always book window and aisle, in the hope that the middle seat will be left empty. This tactic often works, and even when it doesn’t, your neighbour is very likely to be willing to swap their middle seat for one of yours, so you end up sitting together. For short-haul, we find two seats across the aisle from each other more convenient than sitting side by side, as you’re both easily able to get up and walk around with the baby or get things out of the overheard lockers.

Sleeping

A man sleeps with a sleeping baby on his lap while a flight attendant passes
The baby girl and my partner passed out on our flight back from the Canaries

A plane is a very exciting environment for a baby or toddler and all those new faces, noises and activities can make napping tricky.  Prepare for the trip by making sure your little one is well rested before you go, and don’t make ambitions plans for immediately after your arrival, if you can help it. That way if your baby doesn’t sleep at all on the plane, you can take the resulting tiredness in your stride.

You never know when a nap might be interrupted on a plane, so err on the side of encouraging your little one to nap as soon as she’s looking sleepy, rather than keeping her awake until her usual nap time. Pack your baby’s sleeping bag so you can mimic your usual nap time routine, and if you’ve got the bulkhead/carrycot seats, pack a SnoozeShade or similar that you can put on top of a carrycot to create a dark environment more conducive to napping.

What else to pack in your carry-on

A toddler sits in an open suitcase, other bags on the floor around her.
The baby girl helping us unpack on our trip to Gozo, November 2017.

Spare outfit
Wireless bone-conducting headphones
Nappy changing mat and wallet with a nappies and wipes (plus nappy rash cream and nappy sacks if you use them)
Extra baby wipes

Adventure review: Rave-A-Roo, Ministry of Sound

The first time I went to the Ministry of Sound – at the tender age of 16 – someone threw up on my shoes in the queue. On this most recent visit, to check out indoor family festival Rave-A-Roo, the worst that happened was a leaky nappy. I think you could call that progress.

Launched in early 2016, Rave-A-Roo is a brilliant concept: an opportunity for children to dance, play and generally run wild in an environment so stimulating that it takes them all weekend to wind down again, while their parents drink overpriced prosecco and indulge in nostalgia for their clubbing days.

The baby girl isn’t really Rave-A-Roo’s target audience, but babies are welcome, and there are enough exciting things to look at (giant disco ball, anyone?) and different places to sit to make this little adventure worth the trouble.

Clouds of bubbles waft over us as I park the pushchair in an undercover area in the venue’s courtyard, a suitably enthusiastic DJ Cuddles (I’m desperate to know if he uses this stage name for adult gigs too) playing pop tunes in front of tables covered with jewellery-making paraphernalia.

Worried about the volume levels, I bring the baby girl’s ear defenders, but they end up staying in my bag. The main room – headlined by none other than everyone’s favourite ovine film star Shaun the Sheep – would be too loud to go without ear protection for longer than a few minutes, but the baby girl isn’t interested in being in there anyway. Crawling is all she wants to do right now, and the main room isn’t the place for it, so despite the temptation of a flock of inflatable ducks, we leave it to the bigger kids.

We spend most of our time in the Funky Soft Play Room, carving out a corner for ourselves in the midst of dozens of wired toddlers. The soft play isn’t quite as soft as it should be – the only cushioning on the floor of the inflatable that holds the soft play equipment is a few rag rugs – and there’s no one in authority keeping the rowdier children from going rogue. The small pile of baby toys in the corner is welcome, but positioned in such a way that it feels like we’re in constant danger of being stepped on.

The other place we hang out is Chill-A-Roo, aka the Ministry’s VIP area, which overlooks the main bar on one side and the biggest club room on the other. No concessions to the family crowd here apart from a barista serving proper coffees, but the baby girl is happy enough sitting on a banquette and hitting her cup against the table while I drink a hot chocolate.

At £12.10 for early bird tickets (going up to an eye-watering £25 on the door) for adults and children over the age of 18 months, Rave-A-Roo isn’t cheap, but the super friendly vibe, plus nice touches like nappy change supplies in the loos, swings it for me. The baby girl will be too little to really appreciate it for a while yet, but if Rave-A-Roo is still running in two or three years’ time, you can find us in da club.

A baby holds a ball in amongst some soft play equipment.
The baby girl larging it in the Funky Soft Play Room at Rave-A-Roo at Ministry of Sound.