How to leave the house with a newborn

A smiling woman with a baby in a sling holds an ice cream cone.
Jubilant on an early solo outing with the baby girl.

Your newborn baby is probably not leaving you much free time to get things done, but it pays to get organised in advance, if you can. Being prepared ahead of time, rather than rushing to sort everything out just as you’re walking out the door, is key to reducing the stress of those first outings. (This advice holds good for older babies and toddlers too: having the baby girl’s bag and pushchair packed and ready to go makes getting out and about much easier; alas, I’m rarely as organised as I’d like to be. This is very much a case of do as I say, not as I do.)

If you’re taking your baby out in her pushchair, you’ll want a bag that will hang off the handles. Specialised changing bags are useful but by no means essential for this purpose – a lot of ordinary shoulder bags or shoppers will work just fine with a pair of pushchair clips (we use these ones from My Buggy Buddy). For journeys with a sling (often easier than a pushchair, and more comforting for very little babies – more about why slings are excellent in my ‘essential kit’ post on the subject), a backpack is almost certainly your most comfortable option.

Either way (and it’s not a bad idea to prepare two bags so you’re ready to go with both sling and pushchair), here’s what you need:

  • nappy changing mat and wallet with a few nappies and wipes (plus nappy rash cream and nappy sacks if you use them)
  • a muslin square or two, depending on how pukey your baby is
  • spare outfit – vest, sleepsuit, jumper
  • hat
  • blanket
  • spare T-shirt/jumper for yourself in case the baby vomits on you in an impressive way

If you’re breastfeeding you’ll also need:

  • spare nursing pads
  • bottle of water and some snacks for yourself

If bottle-feeding:

  • sterilised bottle and teat
  • bottle of ready-made formula OR powder formula in small sterilised containers, plus a vacuum flask of just boiled water
  • bib

Optional extras:

  • if you’re recovering from an episiotomy, an inflatable ring cushion to sit on
  • if you’ve got long hair, a couple of hair ties
  • if your baby suffers from wind, Infacol
  • dummies
A father with a baby in sling holds a pushchair
At the bus stop before our first bus journey with the baby girl.

For trips with the pushchair make sure you’ve got the sling with you just in case your baby has a meltdown and you end up needing to carry her in your arms. It should fit in the basket under the pushchair with no difficulties, leaving plenty of space for a rain cover and a sleep shade (another piece of essential kit). Have your baby’s bag packed and hanging off the pushchair ready to go, along with a buggy organiser to hold essentials such as a phone, wallet, sunglasses, etc.

Have your baby’s warm outer layer, your own coat, and a pair of comfortable, slip-on shoes (I wore the same pair of ankle boots every time I left the house for the first three months of the baby girl’s life) ready by the door, and don’t worry at all about what else you’re wearing or if you’ve showered that day. You will almost certainly have puke on you, but that’s fine: no one will care – they will be too busy being impressed that you have made it out the door with such a tiny human in tow.

The best moment to attempt an outing is immediately after a feed, so you’ve got maximum time before you need to find somewhere to sit and get your boobs/a bottle out again. Check that everything is ready to go (including making up a bottle of formula if you know you’ll be feeding your baby very soon – otherwise, it’s safer to stick with making up a new bottle when you need it), change your baby’s nappy, cross your fingers that she doesn’t poo again as you’re walking out the door and leave the house as fast as you can. Good luck.

 

Breastfeeding out and about

I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding the baby girl, having successfully nursed her out and about all over the place over the last year and a bit, including to the US and Egypt. I never experienced the slightest bit of hassle, finding that my go-to breastfeeding clothing solution – strappy top under a T-shirt – did the trick pretty much everywhere. In cold places I added a couple of layers on top, finding that thinner fabrics were more convenient than bulky ones that bunch up when you lift them to get your baby to your boob. Swimwear-wise, I found triangle bikinis most convenient for breastfeeding on the beach (top tip: remember to give your nipples a once over with a wipe – as chemical-free as possible – before feeding your baby straight after a dip in the sea).

In hot places where wearing two layers was too much, I opted for lightweight dresses with buttons down the front. At least that was the idea. Sometimes, however, I found myself feeding the baby girl in just a strappy top, and basically revealing an entire boob to the world, as in the photo below. I didn’t plan to expose myself that day, but I was so warm I just couldn’t bear to keep my second layer on. Fortunately, no one in the restaurant batted an eyelid, and it was only when I saw the photo that I realised quite how naked I had been. I paused over whether to include the picture here, but decided to post it because I think it’s helpful to have positive, unambiguous images of breastfeeding out there in the world.

Though breastfeeding in public is welcomed in most places, there are corners of the globe that aren’t too keen, so if you’re a breastfeeding mother it’s worth checking before you travel to set your mind at ease/arm yourself with some facts about your rights in case anyone confronts you. Wikipedia has a handy list of attitudes to breastfeeding in public around the world, which is a good start. Googling “attitudes to breastfeeding [your destination]” should bring up various resources and forums too. If you’re still nervous, consider packing a breastfeeding cover. I never used one so I can’t recommend one personally, but this handy roundup from Made for Mums should give you an idea what’s available.

When it comes to feeding your baby on the move, department stores and airports often have parents’ rooms for just that purpose. Posh hotels can be a good option too – though not all of them, as Claridge’s made abundantly clear a couple of years ago.

Wherever you find yourself, if privacy is a factor for you when feeding, opt for a table by the wall and sit with your back to the room. As far as your physical comfort is concerned, look for a chair with a back. I never got the knack of breastfeeding the baby girl in the sling, but would have loved to do it – friends who’ve mastered this skill find it both convenient and discreet.

Other things to take with you: nursing bras, obviously, but pack more than you think you’ll need. Between the stresses of travel, the time difference and a change in climate, it’s likely that your baby will be feeding more frequently than usual, which means that your breasts might become engorged and leaky. Bring a small bottle of travel wash (you can use shampoo, but it won’t be as effective) and a mini folding clothes airer so you can wash and dry milky bras overnight. You’ll want to bring a bigger supply of nursing pads and muslin squares than usual for the same reason.

If you’re planning to express while you’re away, take a manual breast pump rather than an electric one – they’re much lighter and you don’t run the risk of running out of batteries or forgetting the power cable. Remember that any expressing or feeding equipment that comes into contact with milk needs to be sterilised until your baby is a year old (according to the NHS) – you can read my post on the various options for sterilising while away from home here.

Finally, a wide-brimmed hat will provide shade for both you and your baby when nursing in hot destinations if none other is available. If you, like me, are the type of woman who has always wanted to wear such a hat but never had the nerve before, now is very much your moment.

A mother breastfeeds her baby
Breastfeeding the baby girl on a warm day in Los Angeles, when she was around six months old © Steve Pretty

A jet lag survival guide for parents of babies and toddlers

Travelling long-haul is one of the few situations where being a sleep-deprived parent comes into its own. You may grumble when your baby or toddler repeatedly wakes you up in the middle of the night, but the benefit of such training is that when it comes to jet lag, you might not really notice much difference – you were tired to begin with, and now you’re just a little bit more tired, but in an excellent new location. Unfortunately, jet lag is almost certain to affect your child. Here’s what you can do to help her ­through it.
Where possible, book an outbound flight that doesn’t require waking your baby up earlier than usual. Leaving for the airport in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn is a pain as an adult, and doing it with a baby is worse. You want her as well rested as possible before you go. Similarly, encourage napping on the plane – easier said than done, of course, but always worth a go. I’ll go into this further in a separate post, but the sling is your friend in this situation.
Make a call depending on where you’re going about whether to adjust to the new time zone. If the difference is less than four hours, and you’re heading east, keeping your baby on home time can be a good workaround – she eats with you at adult dinner time and stays up until your bedtime, meaning no need for babysitters or spending your evening sitting in a hotel room in the dark beside your sleeping child (some useful hotel room tips here).
You can prepare for a bigger time difference by moving your’s baby bedtime forward or back a bit in the days leading up to the trip. I’ve personally never got organised enough to do this with the baby girl, but a couple of friends swear by it, and I plan to try it next time we travel long-haul.
Once you get to your destination, you might find that your baby sleeps really well the first night because she’s exhausted from the journey, but is wakeful at night and grumpy in the day after that. Don’t worry, it will pass; it’ll just take a few days – four probably. (And don’t worry about getting back into a sleep routine after the trip – that too will take a little while, but it’ll happen eventually.) But bear these timings in mind when booking your trip – if you’ve got less than 10 days to play with, a smaller time difference might be a better idea.
Being easy on yourself during those first few days is crucial, including not attempting any ambitious adventures until you and your baby are adjusted to the new time zone. Nap when your baby does so you’ve got some energy to cope with additional nighttime wake ups, and spend some time outdoors – day light helps kick the body clock into line.
Try to keep your baby’s bedtime routine as close to what it is at home so she knows on some level that it’s time to sleep even if her body is telling her the opposite. She might be hungry when she wakes at night – whether or not you feed her will depend on how you manage night feeds generally. My thinking with these things is just to go with it and trust that your baby will work it out eventually.
If you’re a breastfeeding mother, bear in mind that your milk production might go a bit haywire as it adjusts to your baby demanding feeds at different times (your boobs are jet lagged, basically). Pack a few extra sets of nursing pads to deal with possible leaks, and remember to drink plenty of water. (I’ll be going into greater depth on breastfeeding while travelling in a later post, so sign up to the mailing list to make sure you don’t miss it).
When it comes to jet lag so much depends on where, when and how you travel, as well as on the foibles of your particular child, so please share your baby and toddler jet lag hacks by commenting below. Forewarned is forearmed.

A baby sleeps in a sling worn by her father, her head covered with a muslin cloth. The wheely bag and passports he carries show that he's at the airport, about to board a flight.
You want to avoid arriving tired, if possible, so napping en route is a good idea – by whatever means necessary.